Nine Months
by Hna
Summary: **!!UPDATED FINALLY!!**Abby's pregnant with Carters baby - this is her pregnancy diary.
1. Month 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Abby, Carter or any of the ER 'gang'  
  
*I haven't seen the film 9 Months so if any infringement has occurred it wasn't meant*  
  
9 Months  
  
Month 1  
  
This will be my pregnancy diary - woe betides anyone who reads it. This will contain my inner most thoughts on life as a mother-to-be.  
  
Jan 23rd 2003  
  
Those telltale blue lines said it all. I'd been waiting in the bathroom for 5 minutes, I have to say they were the longest five minutes I've ever experienced. When they showed up I wasn't sure what to do. I was pregnant! I didn't want to call Carter; I wanted to tell him face to face. I didn't think that work would be the right place to tell him, I'd have to wait until he got home but he wouldn't be back for another hour. I pottered round the apartment trying not to think too much about it. I was going to be a mum.  
  
But that was all yesterday. I didn't tell Carter, he came in with such a bad mood it just didn't feel like the right time. I know he'll be thrilled, I just want to the moment I tell him to be perfect. It's like when Carter proposed - apparently he tried unsuccessfully about a week before he actually did pop the question, he wanted it to be perfect, a moment to remember. I think I'll tell him tonight - we're going out to celebrate our 3-month anniversary.  
  
24th Jan 2003  
  
I told him. I wish I'd taken a camera so I could've taken a photo of the look on his face.  
  
We were in the middle of our meal when I turned to him and said:  
  
'John, I need to tell you something'  
  
He looked up from his food and nodded (he had his mouth full of spaghetti).  
  
'I'm pregnant. You're going to be a daddy'  
  
A huge grin appeared on his face, for the first time since I've known him he was lost for words. He held my hands and laughed, I couldn't help but join in. I told him that I'd booked an appointment with the practitioner and that I wanted him to be there with me. He told me he wanted to be involved throughout the pregnancy, God he's going to regret saying that!  
  
25th Jan 2003  
  
I suffered from my first bout of morning sickness this morning. John was stood waiting outside the bathroom door with water and a clean towel - I love that man.  
  
I also went to see the practitioner today. His name was Dr Samuels. He was nice enough. He asked me lots of questions from when I thought the baby could've been conceived (11th Jan is my estimate) to my family's medical history. I had a blood test to check for anaemia and I had to give a urine sample. The whole process was very tiring all I want to do now is go to sleep.  
  
Feb 2nd 2003  
  
Not a lot has happened since my last entry. Carter has been really sweet about the whole thing. Morning sickness is driving me round the bend, even seeing people vomit at work makes me want to throw up, it never used to. I hope I don't have to give up my job yet. We haven't told anyone at work yet although with the amount of times I have to run to the bathroom it wont be long until they catch on - they have a way of finding these things out.  
  
Feb 3rd 2003 I accidentally snapped at Carter today, he didn't do anything in particular but he keeps on insisting that I should let him do all the housework, which I usually wouldn't refuse, but I feel so useless. Why did I marry a doctor? Argh!!'  
  
Feb 4th 2003  
  
What I said about Carter yesterday was unfair; he's been great. He's really excited about becoming a dad. He wants to tell everyone but I've told him not ready to let everyone know. I don't want all the special treatment; I don't want a big fuss. I haven't even told Maggie yet, I don't want her to get overexcited and do something stupid.  
  
Feb 6th 2003 Well, Carter couldn't hold it in any longer so he told Susan. Naturally the whole department knows. I'm so glad I wasn't at work today. He walked in with such a guilty look on his face it was kind of obvious that he had told everyone. I wasn't as bothered as I thought I'd be, the fact that he told them means that I don't have to. I can't believe that we're actually going to be a family. I'm glad we bought the apartment when we did, I don't think I could cope with the stress.  
  
Feb 7th 2003  
  
I don't think I actually managed to do any work today. The whole shift was spent talking to people about the baby. Everyone was so nice about it. Luka wished us luck; I thought that was nice. I keep on getting medical advice from all the doctors which is very confusing so I've just stopped listening to them. ---- I'm doing a lot of research to make this as real as possible but if you have any suggestions let me know. Please review. This is only my second fic so be kind!! - Hna 


	2. Month 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Abby, Carter or any of the ER 'gang'  
  
Month 2  
  
Feb 11th 2003  
  
Maggie just called, I didn't know whether to tell her or not so I didn't. She said she's been taking her meds which is a relief. Her call has brought my major worry about this pregnancy to the front of my mind - what if my baby is bi-polar. Before the thought was just a niggle in the back of my mind but now I cant think of anything else. I want to tell John but I cant find the words. I know if I told him he'd support me and try to take it away but I don't think he'd understand how I feel. I have to tell him soon - I just need the right time.  
  
Feb 13th 2003  
  
I married the kindest, most unselfish man. Just in case you hadn't guessed I told him. Well, I didn't exactly tell him - he guessed. He said I'd been acting distracted lately and that I was tense. He said he'd come with me to the practitioners and we could ask him about the chance of our child being bi-polar. It was then that I told him about the last time but I'm not alone this time. Last time I kept it all inside, I didn't love Richard, I couldn't talk to him like I can talk to John. This baby means the world to John and unlike Richard, John loves me, we love each other, we don't just bumble along pretending. I love John more than he could ever know.  
  
Feb 14th 2003  
  
Valentines Day. Like I said before I have the most amazing husband. He brought me breakfast in bed which was really sweet. Unfortunately we had to work but he sent me flowers to the ER. When we finally got off he took me out to to see a movie. Then he took me to a 50's diner. We shared a large fries - it was strangely romantic. We spent the evening talking about every subject under the sun. It really was a great day.  
  
Feb 16th 2003  
  
I went to see the practitioner for my monthly check up today. We told him about Maggie. He says that there is a small chance that our baby will be bi- polar but its only a small possibility. It will be a few years until we can find out for certain but before then I have to prepared for headaches, dizzy spells and food cravings - oh joy. Dr Samuels also informed me that I should reduce my caffeine intake - what does he think I am, a saint or something. He obviously has no idea what working in the ER is like.  
  
Feb 18th 2003  
  
I've been sent home from work after fainting in the lounge. Why on earth do I work with doctors!!! I cant seem to get through to them that I'm pregnant not ill.  
  
Feb 21st 2003  
  
I swear that I've been to the bathroom more times today than I did all of last week. I have also developed a craving for peanut butter pancakes. John was happy to make me some on the condition that I try to stop smoking. I have cut down the number of cigarettes I have a day quite considerably recently anyway but I think that's because my overall stress levels have gone down. I never thought I'd say that but it's probably because I've been given decent shifts.  
  
Feb 24th 2003  
  
John and I had the day off today. I had a great day. We didn't do a lot but it was nice to have to have some quality time together. We spent most of the morning in bed talking and then we went for a walk in the afternoon. It was a gorgeous day despite the fact that we live in Chicago. It was like a scene from a movie - we mucked around on the park and I ended up pinned to the floor. I've never felt so 15. He carried me all the way back to the apartment. I then fell asleep watching some old film.  
  
Feb 27th 2003 The past few days have been a real bore. I cant stand being pregnant. I blame John entirely. Ok so maybe it wasn't all his fault but the majority of it was - I need pancakes.  
  
March 2nd 2003  
  
I tried to get everybody to treat me normally and to stop treating me like an invalid but my case wasn't helped when Kerry found me napping on the couch. So I'm back to having 'handle with care' tattooed across my forehead.  
  
-- Sorry about the wait between updates but I hope the wait was worth it. Please review. Any advice or suggestions welcome - Hna 


	3. Month 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Abby, Carter or any of the ER 'gang'  
  
Month 3  
  
March 5th 2003 Girls night in tonight and I'm looking forward to it. John's out of town this weekend with work or something to be honest I wasn't paying attention to the details shhhhhh!!!!! Anyway, Deb and Susan are coming round, it's gonna be a riot (did I just say that?!) We're all gonna bring videos and 'sleepover' snacks. I've also bought some hair dye so now's my last chance to look nice before big and fat etc.  
  
March 6th 2003 Last night really was good - I have blonde highlights in my hair and they happen to look quite good but I haven't told John yet. Hmm, that could prove kind of interesting, I don't think I'll tell him there's not much point he gets home tomorrow. I really ate too much last night - there are only so many pancakes a girl can eat!  
  
March 9th 2003 If there was a set of awards for the best facial expressions my friends at County would win, hands down. I'll start with John, he got home on Sunday and saw me while I was watching some soap omnibus he just froze for a few a seconds and then said 'hair looks nice'. I was like thanks, that's nice of you. He wasn't as bad as the others The other nurses were all over me (I don't boast that often honest) asking what shade and make I used, Luka said the same thing as John and I don't think others could quite put there fingers on what had changed.  
  
March 15th 2003 Well, today was fun (note the sarcasm). To start with we ran out of peanut butter - talk about cant get the staff so then John went out to the store for me, which was nice of him but then came back with the wrong kind of PB. Aaaarrrggghhh. This may not seem like a big deal to you but there are some things that pregnant woman/ me expect while carry their partners baby. Then, I completely forgot about my appointment with Dr Samuels I managed to get their only 5 minutes late after John phoned me from Dr Samuels office (lucky sod wasn't working until later - I'm talking about John not Dr Samuels) so when I finally got there I was told that over the next month I should expect to be tired all the time, at this I thought 'yes an excuse to sleep', but oh no, apparently I wont be sleeping very well due to heart- burn and I'll be spending the rest of the time scurrying backwards and forwards to the toilet - oh joy.  
  
March 21st 2003 I'm feeling surprisingly calm today, this is probably due to the yoga session I went to tonight, John wouldn't come with me, he said I should Susan - that girls a bad influence I swear!! He did make it up to me though, lets put it this way, the person who invented showers was a genius, but you know I think I'm gonna stop talking!  
  
March 23rd 2003 Choosing to work in the ER was one of the best decisions I ever made. I mean there are the times when you wish you could sleep for more than 5 hours at a time and there are times when you've been puked on 3 times in the same day BUT if I hadn't have joined the ER 'gang' than I wouldn't have met John and I have to say this job carries a certain amount of satisfaction with it. Today I treated this teenager who came in after being stabbed and I don't know how many times I've seen it but I felt strangely overwhelmed when I saw this lad sitting up and stuff. Pregnancy does funny things to your brain.  
  
March 27th 2003  
  
Not a lot to say today other than the fact that some freak has pinched my store of peanut butter from the lounge - I left it on the table after having to satisfy an 11 o clock craving and when I went back later it was gone. Hmmm, I wonder.  
  
March 28th 2003 I still haven't found my peanut butter. You should've seen the look on Johns face when I told him, pure panic, he looked like I was gonna hit him! I'd never do such a thing.  
  
March 29th 2003 What did I tell you, I thought it would be Susan. Ok then maybe I didn't tell you but anyhow! She made up some story that I wasn't really listening to but she bought me some more so we made up. Speaking of peanut butter.  
  
-- Sorry for the v. long wait for this chapter - I've been concentrating on finishing my other fic and starting a new one not to mention the fact that I can only write on weekends and that I have homework to do. Excuses, excuses I know. Anyway very sorry and hopefully the next instalment will be up soon. 


	4. Month 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Abby, Carter or any of the ER 'gang'  
  
Month 4  
  
31st March 2003 I have just realised how fussy I am when it comes to my peanut butter - while I was making some pancakes for my breakfast (John had already gone - typical) I realised that I kept on subconsciously twisting the lid three times whenever I was closing the jar - maybe I'm going mad, maybe I'll end up like some batty old woman who twists jar lids a certain amount of times and arranges her refrigerator so that everything is in alphabetical order!!!!!!!  
  
1st April 2003 Talked to John about the threat of me having OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). He asked me why I thought this and I told him about the jar. He said he'd keep an eye on me (as if he isn't protective enough - I think I may regret telling him)  
  
2nd April 2003 I didn't sleep at all last night so I slept all day (I got John to tell Weaver that I wasn't feeling too good and was exhausted - he's obviously very persuasive or the ER staff are very gullible. When John walked in from work today I was making pancakes (surprise, surprise) apparently he was watching me (I had no idea) at the time he said nothing but just know before he drifted off to sleep he had a theory on my possible OCD  
  
3rd April 2003 I feel so embarrassed I had to leave for work before John today but during our break I mentioned his so called breakthrough. He burst out laughing and said that the reason I twisted the lid that amount of times was because otherwise the lid would come off. While he was saying this he demonstrated using my nearly empty jar of PB which was even more humiliating. I told Susan later she too found it all very funny.  
  
5th April 2003 Finally my morning sickness is beginning to wear off - I no longer have to get up an hour early to spend the gained hour clutching the toilet.  
  
6th April 2003 To tired to write anything  
  
7th April 2003 Ditto  
  
8th April 2003 I'm already a batty (not so old) woman, I have become really forgetful - John thinks its hilarious - today I tried to re-heat some pizza in the microwave, I left it but when I came back 5 mins later it hadn't cooked - I hadn't set the timer!!!!! I think I have a tattoo across my forehead that reads 'Batty pregnant woman please laugh at me'  
  
9th April 2003 It's officially 2 weeks since I've had a smoke - I'm very proud. I'm going to use this to get John to buy me dinner - its ages since we've gone out properly - I miss it - the whole getting dressed up and going out and making out on the couch and would often end up the next morning feeling strangely satisfied (I'll stop now!!!)- Jesus last time that happened I got pregnant - that's quite a scary thought  
  
11th April 2003 Going out to dinner sometime next week - YEY!! - He said it would be a pleasure - I love my husband  
  
12th April 2003 We both had the day off today so we sat around the house doing nothing. One of the cutest moments of my pregnancy occurred today - I was sitting on the couch trying to relax and Carter came and lay on the couch, his head on my stomach and he started talking to the baby - it was so sweet - I couldn't help but giggle (it tickled!!) and stroke his hair - you know like when a cat sits on your lap and you just have to stroke it was a bit like that.  
  
14th April 2003 Went to see Dr Samuels today for the usual check-up. As well as the usual blood and urine tests, Dr Samuels also told me /us that the risk of miscarriage was now a lot smaller - of course I knew all this (I used to work in OB) but its still nice to hear someone else say it.  
  
16th April 2003 I'm going to have a baby - I'm actually going to be a mum! I know it sounds stupid but it hadn't really hit me until today. I was talking to Susan (who is, incidentally, going soft) and she was talking about Chloe and Susie and I was talking about when I worked in OB and it suddenly hit me. The amount of times I've seen happy couples walk out of the hospital with their newborn babies and I realised in a few months time I was going to be one of those smug parents. By the time the conversation had ended I was in tears. I felt so pathetic.  
  
19th April 2003 John hasn't taken me out to dinner - I'm very insulted - I bet he forgot all about it.  
  
20th April 2003 He still hasn't said anything about the meal.  
  
22nd April 2003 I confronted him, well, actually I told Susan so I may as well have confronted him. He said that he's going to take me out tomorrow as it'll be out 6-month anniversary.  
  
23rd April 2003 Meal was nice - more details tomorrow when I'm actually awake.  
  
24th April 2003 I feel so fat. I went to put on my nice black skirt yesterday night and it didn't fit - this is the black skirt that had always been to big for me. I sat in our bedroom and cried for about ½ an hour until John came in looking for a clean shirt. He saw me and asked what was wrong. I told him that I was fat; he told me I'm pregnant, I had a go at him for being patronising and then he explained what he meant. He said that he didn't care if I looked fat (he assured me that I didn't - liar) but that I was pregnant - carrying his child and that made me more beautiful than ever. He was so sweet - he made me cry even more.  
  
26th April 2003 I feel so.um. I don't know what the word is bleugh!!! I don't fit into any of my normal clothes and I don't fit into maternity clothes. Bleugh!!!!  
  
27th April 2003 I've resorted to wearing John's clothes. It may sound sexy and trust me it used to be but now they're the only things that fit relatively comfortably.  
  
28th April 2003 Had a phone call from Kerry at 10:30 this morning asking me why I wasn't at work. I told her I was on my way and that I'd slept late, honestly I didn't know I had a shift - this is what you get when your husband leaves before you do!!  
  
Ok so maybe the update wasn't soon BUT it is here now. Hope you enjoyed it - it was slightly longer than the others I think!!!! Please review!!! Luv Hna xXx 


	5. Month 5

Disclaimer I don't own Abby, Carter or any of the ER 'gang'  
  
Month 5  
  
29th April  
  
Went to another Yoga session today with Susan. It was really fun actually - I'm more flexible than I thought. John refused to come with us, using the excuse that his was playing up - that makes two of us - he's such a wimp!  
  
1st April  
  
I only realised today while shopping how easy it's been for me to give up drinking - before now I'd never really thought about it I've either been to tired to think about it or just too happy to need a drink. Smoking on the other hand is different but it is becoming easier.  
  
3rd May  
  
Being pregnant has some advantages, hourly breaks, less patients and me and Carter get better shifts.  
  
5th May  
  
I had another heart to heart with Susan today, I told her about the abortion and what happened with Richard, she was so sweet about the entire thing, unlike a lot of other people she just sat and listened, she didn't judge me or question what I did she just listened.  
  
6th May  
  
Carters been acting strangely today, he didn't kiss me when I left work, he barely spoke to me all day.  
  
8th May  
  
Told Susan about John, she told me to 'Hurry up and sort it out'. Sometimes she can be annoying - stating the obvious is one of her more irritating traits, of course, I was just going to pray that my marriage fails and that I end up a single parent.  
  
9th May  
  
Had a long conversation with John today, apparently he heard part of my conversation with Susan the other day and had taken it the wrong way. I'd been talking about why my marriage with Richard had failed, the lack of communication the fact that we didn't really trust each other and how having a baby would have been the worse thing for our already failing Carter overheard marriage and apparently various parts of the conversation whilst talking to Romano outside the lounge, misheard and blew the whole thing out of proportion.  
  
We spoke for ages; I told him how different it was. Me and John, we don't need to talk to communicate, we don't have to constantly tell each other how much we love each other, we just know - me and Richard didn't, we didn't talk, we expected too much, pushed each other too far, hid too much not only from each other but from ourselves.  
  
I open up to John and because of that I can open up to myself. For starters I told John about my abortion. More importantly we're going to have a baby - together and I wouldn't change it for the world.  
  
12th May  
  
The baby kicked for the first time today strangely enough while I was watching Fear Factor. John insisted that I spent the rest of the evening on my back so he could whisper to my belly. I married a psychopath.  
  
13th May  
  
The delightful child that's growing inside me has decided to be an Olympic gymnast. My stomach hasn't had this much abuse since, well it hasn't.  
  
15th May  
  
We went to see Dr Samuels today and lost all my dignity - I giggled like a seven year old 7 when he was using the ultrasound (it tickles) and then cried when we heard the heart beat. John squeezed my hand, which made me cry even more. Dr Samuels just nodded politely and tried to avoid eye contact.  
  
16th May  
  
Peanut butter has disappeared again.  
  
18th May  
  
Apparently I'd put the peanut butter in the freezer but I don't remember that at all.  
  
20th May  
  
Weavers a cow, she's sending John away for a conference for 3 nights at the beginning of next month. He protested in front of me but I think he wants to go. I don't think I'll be able to cope when he's not here; he makes sure I don't fall out of bed; he makes amazing pancakes and always knows where the peanut butter is.  
  
22nd May  
  
He'll be gone from the 3rd to the 6th. He'll be living it up in Atlanta whereas I will be having my insides kicked out by a 5 month old foetus that has decided to get his training in early for the 2023 world kickboxing championships.  
  
24th May  
  
Since when has being pregnant meant that I'm incompetent? I arrived at work early this morning so I went to sit in the lounge for a moment before my shift, Susan was in there and proceeded to tell me about 'how much fun we're going to have' when Carters away. Yes that's right, he hired a babysitter for me.  
  
25th May  
  
After calming down slightly, I spoke to Carter. Who told me that Susan had offered to check up on me while he was gone. I told him I didn't need a minder but this is Carter, my stubborn husband who is voluntarily giving me and Susan free reign over our house provide I choose a colour for the nursery which me and him will paint when he gets back.  
  
28th May  
  
I am literally going to have to force Carter out of the door. I spilt a mug of coffee today and burnt my hand - Carter is refusing to leave. I have told him 5000 times that I'll be fine (hey, I'll have Susan fussing over me) but I may have to try a little harder to actually convince him. I hate stubborn people.  
  
----  
  
Its been a very long time since I've updated this but school and writers block are hard obstacles to dodge so I hope the wait was worth it, as always your feedback is appreciated - Hna xXx 


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